How not to kill people on the road | I see a bad moon rising

by You Have My Word

Here’s a little advice about how not to kill people on the road, a few renditions of road rage and other terrifying tales.

So, I’m in traffic today at rush hour – it’s bumper to bumper as far as I can see ahead – and the day has not yet realised that it’s near-evening and continues to be swelteringly hot. I’m vaguely paying attention (stop, go, stop, go is pretty mindless) when it dawns on me that the car in front of me is not going the right way – forward. She’s in reverse, going frikkin backwards – towards me! What the heck! Like, “Where on earth do you think you’re going?” Gosh! So, I’m calmly mumbling profanities under my breath and burning holes through her back wind-shield, chair head-rests and the back of her head.

I wish insurance companies, in addition to third-party insurance and all other damage-concerning policies, had a policy you could take out that allowed you to ram into another car upon experiencing a certain level of anger, and they (the insurance company) would cover the damage. Obviously not permitting you to bash their car to pieces or to kill them, but a slight nudge or bumper-unhook wouldn’t be so bad. That would be nice. Too bad they don’t because I think they’d make a lot more money. Heck, screw all other insurance I just want that one.

Drivers that will get themselves killed on the road without having an accident (or a heart attack):

  • Drivers who take their sweet damn time. They call it rush hour for a reason – hurry the hell up!
  • Drivers who fail to use any form of indicatory device whatsoever – even flipping me off might prove useful in providing some direction. Efficiency for goodness sake!
  • Drivers who, while speeding at 140km/h down the highway, spend more time facing the back seat to scream at kids or find that thing they’re sure they left there last week. Actually, those drivers will probably have an accident.
  • Considering all of the above… let’s just say that road rage does strange things to people. Watch out.