Marriage is like a diamond | MOSS Part 6
by You Have My Word
Read about the MOSS concept here if you don’t know what it is. Today’s writer, Brett “Fish” Anderson, has a scrupulous eye for writing, a delightful sense of humour, an unquenchable thirst for God’s word and certainly more than one or two interesting tales to tell. Check his blog here and make sure you follow him on Twitter here.
Yeah, I know where your mind is going on that one – shiny and glittery and precious and every woman’s dream and all of that, right?
Well, it may be some or all of that, but I was going for ‘hard’ – marriage is hard!
And maybe not all marriages are hard. Maybe some couples just work so seamlessly well with each other that everything does feel shiny, glittery and precious and so I would hate to make a sweeping generalisation that excludes those.
But put two strong-willed intensely passionate people [like the beautiful Val and myself, married 11 July, 2009] and it is going to take some work to keep this thing going well.
I think this is an important thing for people to hear before they get married [know what you could be stepping into] and I think it is an important thing for the married among us to hear [especially for anyone out there who feel this but have been dreading it is only them]
Just as having a baby will not miraculously save a marriage, so getting married will not suddenly do away with any issues or struggles or areas you had to work at during the going out and engaged phases of your relationship [except for the touching bits – no more of that ‘saving this for marriage’ stuff which is an absolute bonus if you make it to marriage without breaking that and fortunately no more in play once you are]. In fact, usually it will only intensify them because now you are in each other’s space more and the issues will be more directly in front of you – there is no escaping them by running home, because when you get there, the other person is there too.
But then who said the best things in life are free? Or easy? Marriage is not necessarily either but perhaps therein lies its shiny, glittery preciousness?
We have been fooled by the ideas that ‘love is a feeling’ and that ‘sex=love’ but a reading of the Love passage in the book of 1 Corinthians in the bible quickly cures us of that. The first phrase ‘Love is patient’ kills it dead. Did you ever feel like being patient? Morgan Freeman’s God character in the movie ‘Evan Almighty’ nails it when he suggests that if someone asks him for patience, God grants them a situation that requires patience.
So from patience to not being proud to not being self-seeking and refusing to hold on to a list of wrongs, Love [true Godly life-giving Love] is displayed as a choice or a series of choices [that on the good days go hand in hand with the feelings, but on the harder days operate despite them] that honour the commitment made between two people. We Love because we choose to again. Even when it’s hard. Even when my ‘rights’ have not been met or I have been hurt by something my partner did or didn’t do.
That section ends with this powerful mantra – ‘Love always protects, it always hopes, it always perseveres’ [vs. 7] where the word ‘always’ stands defiantly prominent.
Love doesn’t fail. It does mess up, it does get it wrong, it does hurt [and sometimes completely by mistake and with the absolute best intentions in mind] but it NEVER fails. Because it never gives up. It stands up once more, brushes off the dust and debris and reaches out for the other person’s hand and continues to walk the journey the two of them are on.
Therein lies your diamond.
Go to previous post: On bravery and real love | MOSS Part 5
Go to next post: Love, God and Sex | MOSS Part 7
Go to intro post: Marriage and Other Scary Stuff | MOSS Intro