Preparing myself for someone else | MOSS Part 10

by You Have My Word

“What’s MOSS?” you ask – find out here. I have known Stephen Atterbury for at least 11 years – what was a backyard-childhood-games relationship, has grown into a beautifully, strong, will-be-lifelong friendship. Aside from being a really cool guy, he does some insane design work, and knows completely what it is to strive after Jesus. Check some of the insane design work I mentioned, here. Also, see his latest endeavor on Facebook here, and follow him on Twitter.


“I want to be a husband.” Not a very common response for a 15 year old when asked, “what do you want to be when you’re older?”

While most responses are all career based, the thought of being a husband and father seems far more attractive than success in a chosen profession.

The modern relationship, for most of our youth is based on lust, the selfish need to feel appreciated and shadowing insecurities not dealt with.

Yes, this is a gross generalisation, but based on what we see on TV, with shows like Teen Mom and Jersey Shore (just two of many shows that I can think of off the top of my head) that worship the modern relationship, it’s really difficult to escape what we’re being told is the standard for one. I don’t want to repeat the speech we’ve all heard about media influencing our generation, because it’s already been done and the “hook up, friends with benefits” generation is in full bloom.

That being said, how do people that don’t follow the modern way of going about a relationship, sift through all this mess? If you’re not going to a bar or club these days, you’re not meeting people. Where are the exceptions hiding?

The easiest answer would be: church – A great place for recovering sinners to meet.

“Hi, I’m Stephen and I’m a sinner”.

Not only is the church a great place to find council and context, but also a great way to connect with people with similar mindsets and who are also seeking after God.

I’m not claiming innocence, but I know exactly what I want out of a relationship and until I feel I am able to control my mind better in Christ, I want to stay away from one.

Submission of my thoughts, direction of life and future relationships to God makes road for a tough journey, one that I’m still battling with, but at least I can say I’m battling than just giving in to popular culture.

We’ve taken what was meant to be a gift from God (a relationship between a man and women) and made it into a breeding ground for sin. Of course there will always be temptation to go outside what the bible deems as ok, but with temptations overcome together, respect and trust is built, not only between you and your partner, but you and God. What’s a better way of building a great foundation than overcoming temptation with someone? If you can get through sexual temptation, one of the most basic of human urges, together, surely it makes other things seem like a breeze.

So how do I prepare myself for another person when everything the world stands for, seems to be the opposite of what I want out of a relationship?

I would think the first step is to come to that very conclusion – the world is an opposing force.  In 1 John 2:5 it tells us to not love the world or anything in the world and by loving the world (and by this I would interpret the word  “world” as being worshippers of man, earthly possessions and ways), it says that the love of the Father is not in us. Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not saying you should find the right person, build a house out of sticks in the forest and boil your water over a fire. I’m saying that if you were in love with God and felt His love in return, you wouldn’t want to worship anything else or appose Him. Put your focus on God first, do his bidding and he will provide.

If, like me, getting married  (and dating for the purpose of marriage) is a big deal for you, then it’s obvious that you want to be the best person for your spouse as possible.
Romans 12:2 tells us to not conform any longer to the ways of this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of our minds.

I know the place that I’m at right now, it feels like I’ve started all over again and it began by acknowledging that I needed my life to be intertwined in God’s presence and will for my life. God can’t just be this guy I have a conversation with when something isn’t going right, he needs to be in every part of my life, not only for the benefit of myself, but to be an example of How God wants us to live our lives. The simple things, like reading your bible and praying are key to transforming your mind. By building a knowledge base of God’s word, discovering who He is and building a relationship with Him, you’ll realise that God has your back and life becomes beautiful because you are aware of the amount of love God has for you. I’ve found that I feel way more fulfilled because i’ve dedicated my work and daily life to God. God has given me a clearer vision of my future, settled my anxiety and brought back joy.

Well on my way to cleaning up my mess.

Now that my fire is lit, the goal is to shape myself in the likeness of God, the ultimate father. By doing so, I’ll be picking up and building on traits like loyalty, commitment, honesty, understanding, respect and love – a lot of these things the modern relationship lack or have a distorted view of. So in preparing myself to be a bride of Christ, I will be preparing myself to be the husband God wants me to be.


Go to previous post: Incompatible adventure | MOSS Part 9

Go to next post: Being the man | MOSS Part 11

Go to intro post: Marriage and Other Scary Stuff | MOSS Intro