This Love is given to me

by You Have My Word

“Love of my life
Look deep in my eyes
There you will find what you need
Give me your life
Lust and the lies
The past you’re afraid I might see
You’ve been running away from me

You’re my beloved
Lover I’m yours
Death shall not part us
It’s you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we’ll be
Our Love it unites us
It binds you to me
It’s a mystery”

He calls me beloved, although I betrayed Him.
He calls me redeemed, although I rebuked Him.
He calls me His own, although I gave myself to a thousand others in sin.

And I cannot convince my heart to understand this Love that saves, and waits patiently for me to return, and whispers words full of life deep into my spirit when my mind is so riddled with filth.

I cannot even faintly grasp the selflessness of such a Love. That though I continue to be preoccupied with myself, He seeks me out through His word, in coffee shops, as I turn book pages, when I’m stuck in traffic or cooking or running or crying or consciously running away.

There’s a girl – blows smoke-rings clasping thin cigarette in hand scratching cheekbone adjusting red hat – sitting uncomfortably alone. She waits for him – shifting seats grasps newspaper flaps sipping cold coffee waiting and he’s late – like she always does in this sick game. He enters in a rage – straighten lips jacket skirt hair thoughts sit up right smiling wide hoping for no scene – and marches to her, fists clenched.

In that moment – terror rage fear passion doubt lust confusion panic dread – her husband walks through the door of the cosy bar, that’s tucked away behind a laundromat. His eyes – distinct focused forgiving even when seeing all things and so beautiful – make contact with hers and she is calm.

He loves her even when she’s in bed with another him.
He calls me beloved although I’m steeped in sin.
He adores her even when she doesn’t come home.
He calls me redeemed although I feel alone.
He longs for her when she’s selling her soul.
He calls me His own although this flesh heart feels like stone.

I have done nothing to deserve this Love. I don’t claim to have done half of what I’d need to do to earn it. I would never have enough money to buy it. This Love is given to me.

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