Car-crash ugly to artwork | 500 Words on Grace
by You Have My Word
“Amazing grace how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me…”: words that many of us have sung over the years. I know I sang those words for years without really getting it. What ‘sweet sound’? And what is a wretch anyway? No-one speaks like that anymore.
My journey from religion to bursting-with-life-Jesus-lover has been a slow one. You see, religion was (and sometimes still is) the mirror that showed me hypocritical ‘perfection’. I looked in that mirror, long and often… I wasn’t so bad… not really seeing my ugliness, my doubts, my fears… my wretchedness. I was quick to point out these things in others and was rewarded with a bitter heart and dead religion. About two years ago I asked Jesus to show me that He is real, and He did, in a very tangible way (this is a different story for a different time).
I started to look into His face rather than that religious mirror. In the light of His love and glory I realised (and continue to do so) my imperfections and flaws. The amazing thing about grace though is that this love and glory did not drive me into the ground, but rather raised me up. The more I look to Jesus, the more me I become. The more I look to Jesus and understand his grace towards me, the more I am able to love the mini images of God walking around this planet – the things we call humans. The more I look to Jesus, the more I am able to see myself in the: Addict. People-pleaser. Prostitute. Destitute. I-have-it-all-together. Insecure. Workaholic. Middle-class-suburbia-I-deserve-an-easy-life. Homosexual. I-am-a-saint-because-I-work-with-poor-children. Alcoholic, or Tee-totaller.
We’re all in desperate need of grace, like a car-crash survivor on life support. When I look at Jesus I see my wretchedness in the light of His perfection, and He offers to walk alongside me and encourages me to be someone who can usher in His kingdom here on earth; the kingdom where there is healing, where miracles happen, where faith as small as a mustard seed moves mountains.
Lately these are the questions that have been playing on my mind: How big is my Jesus? How small is the box I put him in? Could I get rid of this box entirely? The best thing about grace though is that I offer my life to Jesus and he makes something beautiful with it and he starts straight away… no waiting for me to be a better person, get my unicorns in a row, find a husband or be less grumpy pre-morning coffee. Why? Because that is what He does; he takes rubbish and he makes art. The Creator of the heavens and the earth makes art with my life and this.blows.my.mind.
Grace means it is done forever. I never have to be without Him again. Amazing? MUCH.
Carol lives in beautiful Cape Town, although she did grow up behind the boerie curtain in Pretoria (*snaps for good ol’ PTA*). A music therapist doing community development by day and a ballerina by night. She has never found the time to blog…so this is her very first blog post (and what better way to start than 500 Words on Grace). Some of her hobbies include being a bridesmaid, reading, singing, playing and writing music, thinking (many people say they wish they could get inside her head…not advisable…it’s crae crae up there). She loves Jesus. She loves people.She likes long moonlit walks on the beach, blah blah blah. The End.