Absence and abstinence

by You Have My Word

I have been silent.

I have been waiting for words in what seems like a vacuum of language and signs.

I have been searching.

I have been watching for movement in the still darkness of the corners of my heart.

be still my heart

I love the process of writing – the cathartic release of thought through pen (or keyboard or pencil or chalk or crayon). I’ve found recently that sometimes the tip of a pen is not broad enough to carry or convey the extent of what is being thought through.

I’ve been quiet here because I’ve been learning to still my heart before making waves in spaces I don’t belong. I’ve needed to abstain from indulging in words for the sake of words here. Even as I type this I’m awkward and the phrases are jarring like peanut butter stuck to the roof of my mouth.

Until I have clarity in heart. Until I have calm. Until I have clear conviction. I will be still.

I am asking big questions. I await big answers. I am not doubting, but I am wondering. Faith. Church. Relationship. Worship. Service. Calling. Passion. Leadership.

Ask with me. Wait with me. Pray with me. Stay with me. Be still with me. Trust with me.