You have my word

One word can change your life.

Tag: gay

Queer moon, we are guided by your tides


The moon is definitely gay. Nothing can sparkle that much and be straight. I mean, if you want to get technical with me, here you go: the moon is a circle so technically it can’t be straight. Anyway.

The moon is definitely queer. Totally in love with the sun and her rays but screws around with the stars in the dark. They don’t mind that he’s a little naughty – that she’s a little naughty – that they’re a little naughty.

The moon would definitely call itself fluid, spreading itself across the day and night sky. Non-binary bright. Lesbian lunar. Bisexual bright. It’s no wonder we’re so affected by the tides. The moon is definitely gay. Nothing can sparkle that much and be straight.

Nothing can sparkle that much despite thousands upon thousand trying to put it out. Nothing can sparkle that much without having been set on fire. Nothing can sparkle that much against the shadows that try and cut it down to size.

Too many shadows have taken too many of your shapes, squashing your fabulous, your fierce, your fight. You, forced to be half-moon – half you – semi-circle so sickle the length of years in your arms. You will outlive centuries of being trapped here.

When they stare at you and point from afar, don’t you dare blink. Don’t you dare look away. Don’t shuffle your feet, gay goddess. Don’t dim your man in the moon face. Look on. Light up. Love. Sparkle. They can learn a thing from you.

When you tell your story, tell the truth


When you tell your story, make sure to tell the truth. It sounds like an obvious thing, but it’s so easy to elevate or negate parts that don’t sound good enough or sound too good to be true. Tell it how it is, and not how you want people to hear it.

Why the preamble? This coming Sunday is International Coming Out Day, and whether you support it or not, it is what it is. That is part of my story – not elevated or negated.

What’s the big deal? Coming out is about telling the ultimate truth – about yourself and about your world… about myself and about my world.

In celebration of telling the truth, here is my coming out story in brevity but, nevertheless, in full:

I didn’t come out. Well, not officially. The process (because it is a process) of coming out is really just a process of telling the truth – of telling a story. For some, it’s a truth and a story that they have come to accept and love for the first time. For some, it’s a truth and a story that they acknowledge and haven’t yet accepted. That is also OK. What’s important is that it is the truth.

So how did I tell the truth? Someone else tried to do it for me. They told a biased version of my story which blew up like dropping a full bottle of red wine. I’m not saying that some people didn’t know; if you have even two stones knocking between your ears, it’s fairly obvious to see that I’m not a cookie-cut-out girl. Yet, as much as it broke me to be exposed in that way, it also provided a new kind of freedom.

Sometimes pain is the most honest truth.

Hear me: I’m not condoning how out of place that person was, and I’m certainly not thanking them for shoving me out, but I will acknowledge the space that I stepped into. That’s the thing about being in the light.

“Coming out of the closet” is the expression that’s often used and although I don’t completely understand its origin, I do understand the feeling. If you’ve ever stepped into a closet and closed the door or been trapped in a pantry or anything similar, you will know the stifling, desperate, claustrophobic feeling that comes with the confines and you will also know the feeling of relief that washes over you when the door opens again.

It’s no wonder children are afraid of monsters in the closet. Some monsters don’t have teeth, but they do eat at your truth and instil fear in the dark.

Almost two years later and I’m telling the story here, as it is, for the first time. As I said, coming out is a process. It hasn’t come without its breakdowns and wreckage, but it also hasn’t come without its joy and contentment. That is my truth and my story.

So don’t see Sunday as International Coming Out Day… see it as a day for telling the truth, a day for telling your story, no matter what that story is. If it happens to be about coming out, celebrate that as your truth and commit to the process of always telling your truth. Others may not like it, they may not accept it, but it is yours. Be true.

Dear Caitlyn Jenner | Quite honestly

Dear Caitlyn Jenner

Quite honestly, I didn’t recognise you at first glance as I scrolled past the cover of Vanity Fair on my newsfeed yesterday. I have followed your news-drawing story each day – from the triumphs and progress, to the hard days and the tears and the tough choices. Quite honestly, I don’t know if I would have the same courage as you.

You are beautiful. Quite honestly, there will be those who disagree not because you aren’t beautiful but because they don’t understand and that is their own shortcoming. As much as you need them to extend compassion to you, know that they too need your compassion. Quite honestly, I’m fists up and rearing to go this morning as, one by one, people in the office are discovering who you are. Not who you were, who you are. One such discovery was met this morning with: “Wat die vok is verkeerd met hom?” In English, that translates to: “What the fuck is wrong with him?”

Quite honestly, you ignorant imbecile, two things you should be blatantly aware of: firstly, there is nothing “wrong with him”. Secondly, it’s “her”. Quite honestly, Caitlyn, I think I would have been fired had I voiced the explicit opinion I hold so I held my tongue and I am sorry for that. A face skewed by so much disdain should only be met with a fist. That kind of judgement has no business in preserving life – trans or not. We are human.

Quite honestly, I can’t imagine everything that you have gone through – exacerbated by the extensive media coverage. Did that make it easier as you had no choice but to confront every bit of change head on? What kinds of questions did they ask? Did you always give an answer? People can be mean – myself included – and on behalf of humans, I wish you all strength.

All this to remind you that you are beautiful, even when you have bad hair days. This is by no means the end but quite honestly, I think you know that. Beauty is not just defined by external, this is another thing you know. After all, you have been true to yourself and that is most beautiful of all. Do not let them take that away from you. Quite honestly, they will try and you should be prepared to fight. There’s an army standing behind you.

You have opened up a way for people to talk about things they don’t understand, things they don’t support but want to know more about, things they’ve never heard of before, things they can choose to stand up for. Quite honestly, maybe that’s the most courageous thing of all. Yes, you’re the talking point of a lot of conversations but dare I say, quite honestly, that the conversations are more important; you will not always be in every headline, but you have done us the great favour of making it easier to have other conversations, to approach other headlines. This is the legacy that you leave.

Dearest Caitlyn, do not apologise. Do not back down nor make excuses. Do not hide away. Do not doubt yourself. Whether you like it or not, some people will make their own brave decisions because of you. That’s a lot of pressure, but it’s also the easiest thing to accept because you have already accepted yourself.

I take my proverbial hat off to you.


By the way, Christians are pretty messed up too | MOSS Part 2

Today’s guest post is written by this cool guy called Simon Strehler. Your ten-out-of-ten drummer, loyal friend, God-pursuer. If there is ever an opinion I take earnestly, it would be from him. Check out his blog here, and follow him on Twitter here. Prepare to be challenged!


There has been a theme running through my life for the last couple of months, that my experiences have highlighted. I can’t go into too much detail about them, so as to protect the people they involve, but I’m going to try give you a picture. In no particular order,

  • My church here in Orlando has been going through a series which has dealt with tough topics like Sexual Abuse, Sexual Addiction, Homosexuality, and Racism.
  • In my small group, there have been some brutally honest and deeply challenging testimonies shared.
  • Recently I’ve spoken to friends of mine who have made some pretty big mistakes, and are going through some really tough things.
  • I took a trip up to North Carolina to visit my very good friends [practically family] up there. While catching up and hearing news of all the people I know there, it became clear there are some who are in very bad situations. Some through no fault of their own (sickness, misfortune) and some because they went looking for it.

A lot of these things are really tough to take in – a lot of people are a little more sick, a little more broken, or a little more messed up than before. A lot of them have made terrible mistakes. And I can’t help but love them even more. It’s best summed up in the lyrics,

“…I’m growing fond of broken people, ‘cause I see that I am one of them.” – MUTEMATH

You see, all those situations have been a shiny mirror to my own life. I am no less messed up than they are. Love is the only response I can have towards them, because that is the response of Christ towards me.

“For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die — but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:7-8

It’s Grace. It’s love completely undeserved. It’s out of this world, and entirely beyond our ability to fully comprehend. It’s also impossible for us to replicate, without the help of Christ. And it’s also the reason, I believe, that Christians are seen as the ultimate hypocrites.

Ultimate Hypocrisy

Marriage and other scary stuffAn atheist friend of mine recently posted this picture to Facebook.

I considered sanitizing it, but decided not to. You’ll see why later.

Here’s the thing – I’m sure most Christians are well aware the world views them as hypocrites, but I think few ever stop to really consider why. Sure,

  • We preach against sexual immorality, and they see us sleeping around.
  • We are all up in arms about drugs and alcohol, and they turn the corner to find us as addicted as they are.
  • We turn our noses up at them when they curse, while they watch us curse under our breaths.

…but I’m sure they would be able to forgive all of that. The world knows Christians aren’t perfect, but we go around pretending we are. We’re broken and messed up, just like them.

Deep down inside, we all want to be loved and accepted. That’s why we ran to Christ. We ran to Him, because He loves and forgives us. I think most people could easily forgive all our other hypocrisies if we would only love and accept them too.

Grace is at the very core of our faith. It’s part of the basics. It’s the milk. It’s the baby stuff. It’s the stuff you absolutely have to grasp. None of us deserves what Christ has done for us. Not one. We all have fallen short. I believe when the world sees us run to this love and acceptance, then turn around and throw it in their faces, THAT is the ultimate hypocrisy.

How can we cling to such love, acceptance, and forgiveness, and not extend the same to them? We run to God, because He loves and forgives, yet we can’t love and forgive others?

“Ok, here’s an idea. You love them, like I loved you. Make sure you take care of ! them, and don’t judge them.”

“But what if they’re gay or worship other gods?

What if they sleep around?

What if they’re addicts, or drunkards?

Pornographers, murders, slanderers?

What if they have tattoos and piercings?

What if they curse?

What if they hate us, and spit on your name?

What if they blow us up in the name of their god?

What if they put curses in your mouth?

What if they beat their wives?

What if they [your sin here]?”

“Did I stutter? You love them, like I loved you.”

I am no less sinful. I really struggle in this area of loving, and not judging. Especially when it comes to loving those who are homosexual, or are struggling with homosexuality. Often times I feel like Paul when he said,

“…Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst.” – 1 Timothy 1:15

Of whom I am the worst. Christ came into this world to save me. He loves me, and forgives me. I have to do the same.

“ The more they mess up, the more you love them. You love them. Like I loved you.


My prayer is that you would read this, and be challenged. Can you love the person who put the F-word on that picture? If you’re in the States, can you love, and not judge George Zimmerman. South Africans, can you love, and not judge Bongi Ngema?

Unless we extend the same love and acceptance to the world, that Christ extended to us, we will never extend His Kingdom. After all,

“How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they ! believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?”

… and will they ever listen, while we’re still hating them?


Go to previous post: Love failed | MOSS Part 1

Go to next post: Refuge from a crazy world | MOSS Part 3

Go to intro post: Marriage and Other Scary Stuff | MOSS Intro